Breathe Read online

  My hands reach down, pulling his dripping wet t-shirt over his head and throwing it across the room. My hands trail over his body, tanned and wet.

  He slowly unbuttons my shirt, each button agonisingly slower than the last, pushing it off my shoulders until his mouth meets the skin on my collarbone. My stomach knots.

  In one quick movement, he lifts me up into his arms and carries me over to the sofa, my arms tight around his neck as he gently sets me down. I throw my shirt on the floor.

  My heart pounds against my chest as his warm hand cups my breast over my bra, the lace sending waves of pleasure through me as he caresses it. His lips make their way down my neck, inch by inch creeping closer and my breathing increases so much I can feel my head getting lighter. I close my eyes for a moment, drinking the feeling in.

  One hand curls around my back and in one swift movement he unclips my bra, gently removing it and dropping it to the floor.

  I arch my back at the feeling of his tongue on my skin, circling round my nipple…teasing me once again. “Marcus,” I moan out, shifting my hips.

  “So fucking beautiful...” He turns my chin, looking me in the eyes. It gives me goosebumps.

  I run my fingers through his tangled, almost dry hair, pulling his forehead to lean on mine, catching my breath for a moment.

  Staring into his eyes, I smile a little.

  “What are you smiling at?” His forehead still rests against mine.

  “Cause I want you to take me to bed….” I bite my lip.

  He stands up quicker than lightning, holding his hand out. “Then lead the way and your wish will come true.”

  He laughs, bowing down. I cover my face with my hand trying not to laugh at him. How can someone bring humour to such an intense moment? I’m suddenly met with a sinking feeling….

  “Hey, don’t do that…” he takes hold of my hand and pulls me to my feet. “Don’t close yourself off to me.”

  I look up into his eyes and take a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry….” His hand cups my chin and I can’t help but smile at the way he looks at me.

  Tonight has been a first for me and I’m crashing it down before it even starts. I’ve never had anyone look at me in the way he does, never touched in a way that makes me feel so alive.

  “We can take this slow if you want, Evvie.”

  No! I won’t let that stupid feeling win. I dig deep for that tiny piece of confidence I had moments ago.

  I take hold of his hand and lead him down the hall to my room. Closing the door behind us, I slide the lock across. Closing the world off from us.

  “I don’t want to take things slow Marcus.” I walk backwards to the bed, holding onto the belt loop on his jeans. Stopping when my heels touch the bottom of the wooden bed frame, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down.

  He leans up on one elbow just staring into my eyes, his hands softly trailing down the side on my breast and across my stomach. I wince when his finger trails over the scar just above the waistband on my leggings. He must sense the discomfort, because he shifts his body and leans down, kissing along the scar. I hate the memory it brings, but relish in the feeling of his lips kissing them away, all the bad feelings I get about it vanish with his lips.

  Stopping, he looks up at me, almost asking for permission.

  I simply nod and lift my hips up just enough for him to pull my leggings off my hips and down my legs, agonisingly slow, watching me as he drops them to the floor.

  My heart beats hard against my chest and he sets himself between my legs, lifting my knees up, he squeezes my thigh, sending goosebumps all over my body.

  “Are you sure you want this Evvie?” his voice is raspy and dark, almost hungry. I can feel he is hard against his jeans. His bare chest rising and falling fast with need.

  I sit up a little, just enough to reach the button on his jeans. Slowly unbuttoning it before lowering his zipper, kissing him along his collarbone. He leans back, taking a deep, heavy breath. I can feel the air between us becoming thick and intense.

  Standing up, he removes his jeans, discharging them on the floor. I instantly hate the coldness.

  Climbing back on the bed, he holds himself over me with one arm as the other cups my breast, moving his mouth closer… so fucking slowly. I can feel my body coming undone as he circles it with his tongue. Stopping at my nipple he grazes over the skin with his teeth, sending shockwaves through my veins. I tilt my head back and let out a harsh breath at the feeling. He smiles against my skin and I close my eyes, keeping my head back as his teeth graze the other. I can’t catch my breath long enough.

  With his mouth still on my breast, his hand trails down lower, slowly. He stops when he reaches the elastic on my panties, tugging at the fabric a little…teasing me. I lift my hips as he pulls them down and throws them.

  He stops for a moment. “Look at me, Evvie.”

  I open my eyes and look him in the eye.

  “I want you to look at me.” His voice is hungry and dark, and my insides knot with his words. A new sense of pleasure ripples through me.

  I almost explode when he teases my sex with his fingers, slow at first, circling in just the right motion as it carries me slowly to the edge but not over. Then his fingers slip inside. I don’t take my eyes off him for a moment, not once.

  “Marcus.” His name echoes from my lips as my stomach tightens against his hold.

  “Please…” I beg him. My legs wrap around his waist, my body moving in motion with his hand.

  I try to fight the urge to close my eyes, hanging on to the abyss by a thread.

  He leans down, taking my breast in his mouth, biting, and tugging at my nipple.

  I can’t hang on any longer as his hand and teeth set my body on fire. I pant against his touch, the sensation coursing through my body too much to handle, he touches every single nerve in my body as I come undone.

  Even flying over the edge my eyes don’t leave his.

  Thick air surrounds us as I wrap my arms around his neck, my lungs still struggling for air. He starts to shift his weight off me, but I hold on tight around his neck.

  I can feel he is hard under his black boxer briefs, catching my breath as I adjust my hips, teasing him against my skin.

  Even though my skin is still tingling, and my breath is erratic and hazy I need more from him…. I need it all. I can’t help it.

  In an awkward shaky leg movement, I roll us over, with me now sitting on top of him. My hair wilder than fire, I sit up fully, taking a long deep breath, giving myself a moment to fall back to earth. I smile to myself knowing that, yeah, I’ve had an orgasm before, it’s not my first rodeo, but I have never had one so intense it leaves me needing more.

  His hands rest on my thighs and I love the smile on his face.

  I circle my hips for a moment, before leaning down, pressing my lips faintly on his chest. My heart races again as the mix of rain and sweet sweat on his skin glisten like glitter in the sky. I love how soft his skin feels on my lips. I move further down, until I reach the waistband of his boxers, feeling myself becoming aroused once more. I trail my fingers along the elastic of his briefs, teasing him, before he lifts his hips and I pull them down, releasing him from his restraints. We stop and look at each other a moment; the question running through both our minds.

  “Have you got a….” I’m just about to ask if he has a condom, before he leans off the bed and grabs his jeans, digging in the pocket he pulls out the foil packet. A sigh of relief escapes me.

  Taking the packet from him, I tear it open with my teeth slowly, not taking my eyes off him. I slide the condom over his length and can feel him throbbing against my touch. A burning builds up inside me as my hand runs down his length and back to the tip, I hear the moan escape his lips as I copy the motion again. He grabs my butt firm as I lift up my hips and sit myself down on his lap, taking in all of him. I let out a sharp breath at the fire once again building inside, the feeling of him inside
me…. it’s like ecstasy, like flying high. I move my hips slow at first and his hands hold tight. We gather our rhythm; him guiding me, and I run my hands through my tangled hair as my body rocks in motion with the silent tune between us.

  “Fuck Evvie….” he gasps out and I see his head tilt back, clenching his teeth together. I slow a little, teasing him, and we both reach the top of the cliff; I can feel the heat build-up.

  “Look at me Marcus...” I tease him, smiling and I reach the high with him. His hands forcing me to build up speed.

  It’s hard and deep, teasing just the right spot inside that it makes the blood boil in the pit of my stomach, burning me from the inside out.

  His hand reaches down between us, and he grinds his fingers just enough against my skin it sends a shockwave of pleasure through my entire body, forcing us both over the edge.

  I focus on his eyes as I struggle to catch my breath as the sharp cry of pleasure escapes my lungs.

  I slowly flop my weak and limp body down over his, both of us speechless and breathless.

  He wraps his arm around my back, drawing circles with his finger on my sticky skin.

  My hand trails along the outline of his chest, barely touching the skin, which may have hit a tender spot because he arches his back at the touch, causing me to giggle against his chest.

  “What are you laughing at?” He lifts my chin so I’m looking at him.

  “Did that tickle?” I ask him with a smile on my face.

  He puts his other arm around me, rolling us both onto our side, face to face his lips touch mine, tenderly.

  “Where have you been hiding all my life, Evvie?” He brushes my wild hair back, smiling.

  I can feel myself relaxing…. tiring even.

  “You don’t want to know.” I look away for a moment; I’m not ready for that subject yet.

  He senses my body tense up from the question. “You know you can tell me? Whatever it is, I won’t feel any different about you.”

  “You can’t be sure about that Marcus – you barely know me.” I pull myself out of his hold, closing myself off from him again. I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, fighting the tears and haunting memories away.

  I reach over and grab my vest top and shorts off the stool, quickly getting dressed I grab my scrunchie and pull my hair in a tight ponytail onto of my head.

  He reaches down to the floor, picking his boxers up before sitting back on the bed. “Evvie will you just stop a minute?”

  I stop dead in my tracks, turning to look at him.

  He sees the sadness in my eyes and jumps up out of the bed, rushing towards me. His hands cup either side of my face. “What is it, Evvie? Just tell me.”

  I shake my head and take a deep breath. How can such a perfect moment be ruined in the blink of an eye? Why do I have to be so fucked up… a walking mess?

  I look over at the clock on my wall and realize it’s already 2:30am. I’m sure Justin will be home soon and most of our clothes are scattered around the living room.

  He drops his hands from my cheeks, standing back with a confused look all over his face. “You’re the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met, Evvie. Do you know that? You close off the minute anyone shows you any kind of emotion. I get whiplash from you.”

  “Fine! Well maybe you should just get your clothes and fuck off then… seeing as I’m so messed up!” My anger burns through the glorious earthshattering feelings I had moments ago now ashes on the floor. I yank the door open and stomp through to the living room, gathering the clothes scattered on the floor and storming back in my room. The door slams shut behind me and I throw his damp top at him.

  He steps closer to me, his head cocks to the side. I breathe in slowly. “Is that what you want?”

  I know it isn’t. Deep down I don’t want him to leave, I want him to hold me in his arms, keeping me safe from the nightmare when I close my eyes. I can’t answer… I won’t.

  His fingers entwine with mine. “Then talk to me – let me in…”

  I take a deep breath. Can I? Can I open up and tell someone? Trust another person with the darkness? I don’t know if I can trust someone enough to go down that road again.

  Without a word he guides me back to the bed and we lie down, my back pulled in tight to his chest as he wraps me up in his arms, holding me close. I feel his breath on my neck.

  “I fell in love…”

  I pause for a moment. Closing my eyes.

  “I fell in love at 17. I thought he loved me back, but he didn’t. He was a monster, Marcus. One that still scares the crap out of me. He promised me every dream I ever had would come true, turning me against my family until the only person I could trust was him.”

  I turn myself around to look at him, my arms wrapped tight around his waist. He just listens.

  “I left home and moved in with him…I thought all my dreams had come true, he told me I could sing in the club he owned but it was all a lie…. he…. He is the only other man I have ever slept with. It started out as little things. He got one of the older girls to show me how to dance on the poles, said I needed to earn my keep….” I hold my breath as the memories flood back like a volcano erupting.

  “You will learn the routine, Evvie! So, help me God… you think you can live under my roof for free?” The back of his hand hits hard against my cheek, instantly leaving it stinging, burning even.

  I fight back the tears…. I know he hates it when I cry. He says it shows my weakness. “I’m sorry Drake…” I trail off as his lips touch mine, rough and possessive.

  “That’s my little hummingbird.” I cringe at the pet name; he knows I don’t like it. “Now, Daniel is going to take you home, and I expect you ready when I finish.”

  I nod submissively.

  Shaken.

  Daniel sharply takes my arm and leads me out of the club to the waiting car. We sit side by side in silence until we reach the house.

  I ran away six months ago to be with the love of my life, I never dreamed that road would lead me to where I am now. The older, kind man I fell in love with was a lie…. a ruse to lure sweet innocent me into a trap, a gullible trap I fell right into with open arms. You never realize the dangers that lurk behind a person’s eyes until it’s too late.

  The moment I told him I would leave with him, I belonged to him. I was his property. I tried to argue back at first, kept my fighting spirit as long as I could, but he broke that too. Piece by piece I crumbled into the frail, weak, pathetic girl that now sits staring out the window.

  I know he is looking for other girls…. girls like me, I try to keep him happy hoping I would be enough for him, stopping anyone else from going through what I do. The women at the club are sympathetic with me… but none will stand up for me…they are all too scared.

  I let out a sigh as the car pulls up on the drive. Daniel gets out first, walking around to my door he swings it open, holding out his hand to help me out.

  “Just try your best, ok Eveline?” he whispers to me as we walk up to the house. Daniel is Drakes older brother, and if I’m honest, he is the only friend I have, he insists on calling me by my birth name, a name that only my father had used in my younger years…a name that hurts each time he says it but also brings me comfort. He disagrees with his brother’s ways, but like everyone else he fears him.

  “Thank you, Daniel. I’m just going to take a soak in the bath and head to bed.” I give him a sad smile as we enter the house.

  He throws his keys on the side table in the hall and removes his suit jacket, throwing it over his shoulder. “Ok sweetie. I don’t think he is going to be home anytime soon, so you get yourself some sleep.”

  I fight back the tears all the way up the dark oak stairs to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind me, I drop to the floor and curl up in a ball, crying until I can’t cry anymore.

  The soft tender kisses on my shoulder pull me back to reality, back to a world away from all that, for now.

  “I managed to get away 2 years ago.” I l
et out a sigh.

  “When we ran out of the club the other day?” I can see the anger burning in his eyes. “That’s who you were running from?”

  “He was there. Drake. Or at least I thought so…but now I’m not sure. I keep having these nightmares…. Paranoid he is watching me, but I can’t be positive it was him or not.” I run my fingers through his hair. “I think… or more I hope, it was just another trick of my imagination. But I’m glad.”

  He looks at me confused. “Glad?”

  “Yeah, cause if I hadn’t seen him, I wouldn’t have run into your waiting arms…. And well… you wouldn’t be laying here with me now.”

  He laughs, pulling me into his arms tighter. “Well, when you put it like that…!”

  “I’m not perfect Marcus, I’m damaged deep down, permanently, and I wouldn’t blame you if you left right now. I’m just…. this is all new to me…. some things are still too raw and others I mask them, pushing them away.”

  “You don’t ever have to put on an act for me, Evvie. I told you that already.”

  “It’s just…”

  The back of his hand gently strokes along my cheek. “Evvie I don’t want to go anywhere. I wasn’t looking for anyone in my life…but now that I found you…”

  I gaze into his eyes, not wanting to break the moment. I know exactly what he meant; I feel the same way.

  I never intended on finding anyone who would want me for me, but now that I have, I don’t think I’m ready to let go of him. It feels right….

  I know he was a jerk that first moment I met him, but he saved me, he took my hand and I knew I would be safe. I don’t know how, or even why, but the moment his hand curled around my waist and he told me to breathe, I felt safe.

  My body begins to become heavy; Marcus turns to lie on his back, pulling me close so I can lean my head on his chest. I listen to his heart beating calmly against his chest, while his hand brushes through my hair, the gentle feeling making my eyelids heavy until I can’t hold them open any longer.

  “Drake, please. I’m…. I’m sorry…...” It’s no use. His hand grabs my arm with so much force it leaves an instant bruise, burning my skin with his touch.