Something Missing (The True Love Series Book 1) Read online

  “Max, I don’t need you to save me. I’ve got to do that myself. But I would like your support – and that means just being here for me.”

  Max locked his arms around her. “That’s all I want, to be here for you,” he whispered. “Let’s get out of here for a bit.”

  “I know the perfect place.” Then she headed out of the door with Max behind her. The two walked hand in hand down to the beach and sat watching the sunset in silence.

  This is where their magic came from; this was the place where nothing could touch them. Here they felt safe and Susan wished they could spend the rest of their life sat here, in this spot. After there was no more sun to set, Max stood up and held his hand out for Susan. They walked back to the house and ate dinner in candlelight before going to bed and holding each other.

  The next couple of weeks felt like a dream. They woke up together, ate together and went to sleep together; she even turned up at the garage one day to take him out to dinner. Polly moved into Beth’s and they got on like a house on fire; already becoming firm friends. Polly would be here for good she couldn’t ask for any more than that. Max had come home from his mother’s with boxes of paperwork to do with the garage. She didn’t have a clue where they were going to go; the house was three bedrooms so maybe they could turn one into an office – better still the dining room.

  Watching him moving in his work, made Susan feel content – it was a massive signal that he was staying for good. “Max,” she shouted out to the car. “Come here a minute.” He came in carrying a huge box. She opened the door to the dining room “What about using this as your office? I never use this room, it’s just full of boxes that could go up in the loft.”

  Max investigated the room. “I think that would be perfect, we could start over the weekend. I’ll take Monday and Tuesday off.”

  “That sounds great. Food?” she asked heading to the kitchen.

  “Hmmm well there’s nothing in here I can make a meal with, but you can,” she laughed, shaking a box of eggs at him.

  Max grabbed the box off her and pushed her out the way with his bottom. “Move aside, women, time for me to work my magic.” Susan slapped his rear on her walk to the living room, shouting after her, “Work away, MAN!”

  CHAPTER 9

  Susan woke, checked the clock and shot out of bed. Max hadn’t woken her this morning and she had a million things to do today before Polly and Beth came for a BBQ that evening. She quickly showered, dressed and rushed downstairs, before heading off to the garage.

  When she arrived, Max was in the office. She walked through, offering a greeting to the other guys that worked there. Max was on the phone and so she waited for him to finish. “Can I have some car keys, I need to run a few errands?” she stood, holding her hand out for the keys.

  Max stretched over and dropped them into her hand.” Are you picking me up when you’re done?” he asked, pulling her in for a kiss.

  Susan unraveled from his grip. “Yeah, sure, I’ll come when I’m finished. Okay, see you later.” She climbed into the car and drove into town.

  When she arrived at the jewelry shop, the jeweler already had the ring ready and boxed, waiting for her under the counter. Taking a quick look, she smiled, paid and left for the supermarket.

  Susan had it all planned. They would have a lovely BBQ to officially celebrate Polly’s arrival in town, and then she would ask Max to marry her. She knew that some people would say she was rushing it – her counsellor for one – but they had a lifetime of love to make up for, and she had been away from him for too long.

  She parked outside the garage, waiting for him to lock up, pipping the horn to tell him to hurry up. She couldn’t stop herself checking him out – there was something about the way he looked when he was all greased up that really got her going. She fantasized about having him here and now, over the bonnet of the car. ‘He could have anyone he wants,’ she thought, ‘especially looking the way he does right now – but he chose me.’

  “What are you looking at?” His voice snapped her out of her daydream.

  Licking her lips, she gave him a devilish look. “Oh, I was just admiring the view.” He laughed and flopped into the passenger seat.

  *

  “I just have to do something before we start getting ready.” She kissed him hard. “What?” he asked as he removed his coat and shoes.

  Susan looked at him longingly. “I need to get you up the stairs right now – because if I don’t get you into bed, I’m going to explode.”

  Max stood for a moment in the hallway gob-smacked, before rushing up the stairs, shedding his clothes as he went. She was on the bed waiting for him in nothing but her lacy slip. He smiled, pulled off his remaining clothes and climbed up the bed towards her, grinning. “What has got into you?” he whispered in her ear.

  Before he knew it, he was on his back and she was on top of him, kissing his chest. Her hands moving over his body. He was so ready for her, but she made him wait – taking control. Max was in sweet heaven with every move she took. She sat up and flung her hair behind her, moving with an urgent rhythm, racing each other to climax. His shoulders ached from her grip. They cried out together and after a moment of ecstasy, flopped, gasping for breath.

  “You, Miss Birch are a very bad influence, do you know that?” Max laughed, stoking her hair.

  Susan giggled. “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that.” Her fingers curled around his chest hair and she smiled smugly.

  Max kissed her forehead and replied. “Well don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed that; a lot. It was just unexpected, that’s all, and we have guests arriving soon.” He looked at his watch and giggled, “Like in fifteen minutes!”

  “Shit!” She ran around the bedroom finding something suitable to wear whilst Max jumped into the shower. She tied her hair up in a ponytail, put some makeup on before pulling her dress on, and went downstairs to find her shoes. Max came down ten minutes later looking smoking hot. Her heart beat faster the closer he got to her. What the hell was up with her? She wanted him more and more the last few days; her appetite was almost insatiable.

  She shook herself out of it; Beth and Polly were due any minute.

  She headed out to the garden with a bottle of Becks Blue, (Max had given up alcohol in show of support) and handed it to him. The sun was shining. Life couldn’t be any more perfect. The doorbell rang and she skipped through the house, opening it to face a big bouquet of flowers and Polly and Beth juggling bowls of salad and summer pudding. Susan giggled, kissing and hugging them both chaotically. This is what had been missing in her life all this time. The afternoon slid into evening and was full of laughter, chat and good food.

  Susan’s face almost hurt from smiling. Butterflies danced in her tummy. In a short while she would be asking the man, she loved to marry her. It would be an endless dream coming true.

  Their relationship had grown so fast, she hoped inside that one day soon they would be able to call themselves a complete family. Although she’d made a conscious decision not to think about the whole baby thing, it didn’t work like that. The sight of a pram in the park, a little one in a supermarket trolley, children playing on the beach, all caused her to stop and long for the day that she was no longer an outsider.

  Max stood up to go in and make some more punch. Beth echoed him, gathering up an armful of dirty crockery. When they’d left, Polly turned to Susan and asked,

  “Are you okay honey? You don’t look so bright.” She placed her hand on Susan forehead.

  “I’m fine! Just feeling a little nervous, that’s all.”

  Susan had shared her surprise proposal plans with Polly earlier that day. She hadn’t come away with the impression that Polly was overjoyed about the idea. She’d said the ‘right’ things, but there had been a slight hesitation that Susan knew only too well as being one of concern.

  Polly took a deep breath and dropped her voice to almost a whisper. “Don’t bite my head of Susan, but I have to ask you something – and it
’s because I care.”

  Susan sighed heavily – she’d guessed as much. “Polly, will you just spit it out please.”

  “Okay.” Polly shifted in her seat. “Are you sure about all of this? It’s just that it’s all happening so fast; I mean this thing with Max; marriage, setting up home… a baby? Are you ready for all of this? I just don’t want to see you rush in and get hurt – maybe you need more time.” She shrugged and put her hand on Susan’s knee. “What did your counsellor say about it?”

  Susan stood up, gathering up the remaining dishes. “And you decide to say all this now? Of course, I’m sure! Do you really think I’d go through with it if I wasn’t ready?”

  Polly looked down at the floor and twitched. “Babe, I’m sorry but a part of me thinks you would. It was only a month or so ago that you were convinced you couldn’t have children – and now you’re already talking about being a family. What if it doesn’t all happen smoothly? What if you must face disappointments? I just don’t want to see you hurt if it doesn’t go your way.”

  Shock washed over Susan’s face. “I can’t believe what you’re saying. I love Max; he means the world to me. I know we haven’t been together long, but I’ve known him all my life. Please just have some faith in me.”

  Polly twiddled with the stem of her glass and said softly, “That’s not always easy, Susan. Sometimes your behavior is quite self-destructive. I think you’re searching for someone to rescue you – and Max is an easy option.” Susan’s eyes widened with hurt.

  “He’s a really good man, Susan – he’ll make a wonderful husband, but he’s not your savior – that’s up to you. This whole baby thing – you need to see the bigger picture. What happens if in a year or two you’re still trying for a baby? What happens if it never happens – will Max be enough for you? Will you end up hurting him?”

  Susan looked over to the kitchen window and watched Max with his mum. As much as what Polly had said hurt her, she knew that Polly loved her. It was Polly’s brutal honesty that had pulled her through the dark days.

  “I understand your worry, but when I’m with him I see more clearly than I have before. He has shown me that there is hope for anything. Do you remember what I was like when you found me?” Polly nodded. “Max proved to me that I have nothing to be frightened of – not with him around. He won’t let me down. He’s strong and he’s loyal.”

  Polly had never seen Susan smile like the way she did when Max was around; it was magical to watch. She could almost feel the connection they shared together. There was no doubting their love. Polly smiled at Susan. “I suppose I need to let you start making your own choices.”

  Susan wrapped her arms around Polly. I will always need you, but I don’t need you to worry. You got me back on my feet and into the world. I will always be grateful for that. I will always love you for that.”

  Polly knew it was time she let Susan go – it was just hard; she was like a sister. Max and Beth returned with a big jug of punch, some more alcohol-free beers in an ice bucket and Beth’s infamous summer pudding.

  “What are you two up to?” Max asked grinning.

  Polly stood up and announced that she was visiting the loo. As she passed Max she muttered, “Promise me you will look after her, Max?” Max’s face twisted in bemused confusion.

  “What did she say to you?” Susan asked.

  Max kissed her forehead. “Oh, nothing much.” He shrugged.

  “Are you two alright – Polly seems a little…”

  Susan smiled reassuringly, “No, she’s alright – just women’s talk; emotions running high, that type of talk.”

  Max laughed. “Ah, that kind of talk.”

  Beth sat down and poured a drink. “Talking of emotions being high; I wondered if you would like to meet some more of the family. My sister and her children, Max’s cousins are planning a visit – it would be nice for you to get to know them.”

  Susan smiled at her. “That sounds perfect, thank you, Beth. Talking of family, I’ve been thinking I need to make a visit of my own, would you mind going to visit my family’s graves with me tomorrow; I don’t want to go alone.”

  “Of course, sweetheart. I’d be honored.”

  They finished the rest of the punch, demolished the summer pudding and chatted until the air turned chilly, taking it as their cue to go. After lots of hugs and kisses, Max and Susan were left alone.

  “Fancy a walk?” Susan asked.

  “Yeah, sure, that would be nice.”

  Susan had planned everything carefully, packing a wicker picnic basket earlier with all the essential proposal equipment; candles, blanket, bottle of Perrier water and a couple of champagne glasses – as well as the little velvet box tucked in the bottom.

  As Susan gathered up her shawl and the basket, Max eyed it with curiosity but didn’t say anything. It was a day full of surprises.

  They headed down to the beach, taking their shoes off to feel the still warm sand between their toes. When Susan was happy with the spot, she put down the basket, spread out the blanket and set up the space.

  “This all looks very suspicious – what are you up to, Susan?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her.

  Susan flopped onto the blanket and giggled. “Can’t I be romantic?” She patted the spot next to her.

  Max sat down and took his glass of water, joking, “Champagne tastes better!”

  “Yeah, too right – I’m going to miss Champagne.”

  “It’s a small price to pay.”

  They sat quietly looking out to sea. The moon was full and shed a silvery light. She moved to sit between his legs, relishing the security. “I know how I feel now.” “What do you mean babe?” he asked in her ear, his lips brushing over her hair.

  “I mean, I know what my heart wants. All this time I knew something was missing in my life, it wasn’t kids and it wasn’t family past or future.” She turned taking a deep breath. “The missing piece was you, it always was. You have given me life.” “Oh, baby.” Max wrapped his arms around her. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Their conversation drifted into quiet. Susan was building up to ask her question.

  “I love this place.” Susan’s voice was soft.

  Max turned to look at her. “Me too”

  “I would love to get married here. It would be perfect, don’t you think?” she smiled, waiting for his response.

  “Yeah, it would be.” Max wrapped his arms around her.

  Susan turned around, kneeling in front of him. “Let’s do it then. Let’s get married here.”

  Max let out a laugh. “Right now? I don’t think that would count do you?” When Max looked down, she was holding a white gold ring in front of him.

  “Are you serious?” he said, smiling.

  Susan passed him the ring and laughed. “Yes, of course I’m serious. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I don’t want to wait or slowdown, I just want you now and forever.”

  “Me too. Of course, I’ll marry you.” He took the ring from her. What does it say?

  She looked at him in the moonlight. “In this place, we are complete.”

  He knew exactly what that meant. “Come here,” he said, placing the ring on his left ring finger.

  Susan jumped up and threw her arms around him.” I can’t believe it. It’s going to be perfect.” She kissed him and tears of happiness trickled down her cheeks.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Susan woke and the space next to her was empty and cold. It was still dark outside. She Jumped out the bed and started to look for him. She checked everywhere but couldn’t find him – not even outside: there was no sign of him. She picked up her phone, but the battery was dead. She went to the beach, but he was not there. When she returned to the house, all the lights were off. Where was he? She checked every room again but this time, when she checked the office none of his stuff was there. It was just filled with boxes. She ran upstairs frantically shouting out for him. She ran into the b
edroom and opened the drawers. Nothing. Fear washed over her.

  Her eyes flew open to see Max lying beside her, fast asleep. Heat washed over her. She lifted herself out of the bed and walked into the bathroom. She felt light headed and a crippling pain shot across her stomach just before she threw up. Trying not to wake Max up, she cleaned herself up, got a glass of water and curled back up into bed wrapping herself around him.

  Next morning, Susan sat waiting for Beth to pick her up. Nerves washed over her; she had never been to the graves before and now she had a whirlwind of emotions inside her, she began to feel sick. Just then the car pulled up outside the house.

  The ride was quiet; neither said much on the way there. When they arrived at the cemetery, Beth put her arm around Susan. “Are you okay?”

  Susan took a breath and nodded. She was as ready as she would ever be. All three graves were in a row together. Kneeling between her mum and dad’s, tears ran down her face. She had been so young when they had died; she hadn’t really understood what their death meant; the years of loss, and emptiness. Beth handed her two of the three bunches of flowers. She turned to her grandmother’s grave and laid the bunch of roses. Her grandmother had been an angel, and it was cruel that God had called her home too soon.